Yesterday was one of the lowest days of my life. My poor husband! Not only did I cry on his shoulder, I sobbed. No, even that is putting it mildly. I howled. For the first time I understand what it is for sobs to wrack a body. It wasn’t because I am ill, although that played a part. It was because we are in the process of losing our house, our equity, and our ability to purchase a home in New York and there seems to be nothing we can do about it. I wailed because my life is so out of control and the only thing I can do about it is scream.
During the night God reminded me of Winston, our Shih Tzu. The first time we put him in a harness and on a leash, he got caught between a grapevine and the wood holding up the arbor. He totally panicked, his entire body shaking violently and crying like I’ve never hear a dog cry. The experience left him terrified of the harness and leash and when we’d put them on him, he would stay in the same pose as when we put them on, all the time shaking uncontrollably.
We decided to acclimate the dog to the harness and lead before we tried it again, so we placed them into his kennel so they would absorb his smell and become familiar. After a week we could put on the harness without him shaking, but Winston still refused to walk with it on.
One day we went to the ocean and took Winston along for his first experience with the beach. We got the harness on him, but he assumed the same statue pose, until he spotted a child having a picnic with his parents nearby. Off he went like a shot to make a new friend! David followed him, giving the boy some treats to feed to the dog. As Winston’s attention was full of the boy and the treats, David clipped on the leash. Neither the harness nor the leash have bothered him ever since!
God didn’t leave me with just this story. He went on to remind me of the disciple Peter and the time Peter got out of the boat in the storm to walk on the water toward Jesus. As long as he kept his eyes on the Master, he walked above the waves. However, when he began to notice the waves and see them, he started to sink. It was only when he put his eyes on Jesus, could he once again walk on the waves.
Last night Jesus showed me that my eyes need to be on Him and not on the waves of my life. I am not to focus on my illness, the loss of our house, the uncertainty of our future. I am to focus on Him. In fact, He reminded me on a verse that contains one of my favorite words—well at least it’s a word I like to hear come off my tongue. It is found in Job 42:2: “I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.” Thwarted. That means nothing, no one, no scheme of evil man, not even the devil himself can do anything to stop God from doing what He plans to do.
I was also reminded last night that God loves me unconditionally and plans nothing except for my good, therefore I can trust Him. I can rest that He knows what He’s doing and that He knows what is best for He absolutely knows the future. I can rest in him. No one can take advantage of us unless it is part of God’s plan for His glory and our good. I can keep my eyes on Him and rest at peace.