It might have been last night when we had this conversation:

“Let’s make a salad for supper.”

“Ugh! This lettuce is gooey!”

“Okay, well then how about soup from the vegetable drawer?”

“Well, the carrots are limp and the celery is streaked with brown, the cucumbers are soft and the leftover peas are lifeless.”

“What now? What can you make from a refrigerator stocked with wilted veggies?”

“Not much, but we better get this sorted and cleaned out before we go shopping.”

Have you noticed that all the great cooking shows on TV these days are stocked with the freshest, best-looking food? There is not one brown streak to be found anywhere ― and even the mushrooms were picked that morning. The chef comes in and voila, the perfect dish is presented to the judges who gush over it, exclaiming they have never had something so delicious. It is great competition, but I wonder if it has any practical value for me in my kitchen.

I think we should start lobbying for a show called “World-class Cooking with Leftovers.” The host would say to the contestants, “Your challenge today is to cook something good from these ingredients – the stuff we’ve raided from your friend’s refrigerators down and around the block.”

The contestants would then receive inferior veggies and discounted meats to work with. The winner of that competition would certainly be welcome in my house, anytime, because he or she would have proven that a good, editable meal can be created using imperfect ingredients. It might not be as perfect as a dish prepared from perfect food, but we would have to say that chef can do wonders with even the leftovers.

My friends and I are a lot like the inferior food leftover in my icebox. You might say we’ve been in the frig too long and may even be getting close to being thrown out.  I am imperfect in body, soul, and mind; living in an imperfect house in an imperfect town with family and friends who are imperfect; attending a church that is imperfect and picking up job after job that just doesn’t seem to fit who I’d like to be and what I’d like to do with my life.

I have to admit that after all this time I sometimes still long to do something exactly right, say something exactly right, and look exactly right – in other words, to make a perfect life. In those moments I want a job that fits me, energy that is boundless, and love and accomplishment oozing out of everything I do. But what can anyone do with imperfect ingredients in an imperfect kitchen with imperfect utensils? I’ve tried making something that tastes good out of my life, and many times have ended up pining away precious moments wishing I were a better man and life made more sense.

The really cool thing about all this here and now is that we have someone other than ourselves that we can invite into our lives and homes and jobs, to take what is imperfect and make something good out of it.

That someone is the Lord Jesus Christ. He takes leftovers and makes masterpieces that some day the world will marvel over and praise – “contest winning recipes” if you please, that taste really good and are the best we could hope for from what is leftover from our self-effort yesterday.

God has only imperfect ingredients with which to work. Yet, miracle of miracles, He is a master at doing the best and most loving thing that can be done with those ingredients.

“Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don’t see many of “the brightest and the best” among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn’t it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these “nobodies” to expose the hollow pretensions of the “somebodies”? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. That’s why we have the saying, “If you’re going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 (MSG)

Perhaps you’ve been praying, expecting God to do the perfect thing in an imperfect world. Why be surprised when result of our praying isn’t the perfect solution we were salivating over in our imagination? Could we have done any better? Is there any other so-called god that can do better, given the leftovers of our lives? NO!

God will have perfect people in a perfect world to work with one day.  Imagine that! Yes, imagine what God will do with us when everything is once again perfect, but in the meantime, we must trust Him to do the best with us, as we are, in the leftover world we have created.

“There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; for star differs from star in glory. ⁴² So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; ⁴³ it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; ⁴⁴ it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body.” 1 Corinthians 15:41-44 (NASB)

“I saw Heaven and earth new-created. Gone the first Heaven, gone the first earth, gone the sea. ² I saw Holy Jerusalem, new-created, descending resplendent out of Heaven, as ready for God as a bride for her husband. ^3-5 I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: ‘Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They’re his people, he’s their God. He’ll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone.’ The Enthroned continued, ‘Look! I’m making everything new. Write it all down—each word dependable and accurate.’” Revelation 21:1-5 (MSG)

David Ewert

Saturday, November 11, 2017

In 1971 we visited my uncles and aunts in Kansas. Uncle Eli took us to a home that was being broken up after the death of the husband and it had a huge library that was being dismantled to be donated to the Christian school in the area. Uncle Eli said we could take whatever books we wanted. I found a little devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers, that I have read through dozens of years. The first few years I argued with Chambers over a lot of things. Over the years, however, I quit arguing as I grew in my faith and deepened in my understanding of God. Now I add notes to each day along with my prayers that arise from Chamber’s writings. He says that God brings things into our lives, not just for us, but for us to learn lessons that He intends us to use as we share the love and life of God with those around us. We are to take the lessons He teaches us and pass them on, but the lessons come, not as head knowledge, but as experiences that change our lives and drive God’s truths deep inside of us.

If you know me at all, you know I am a storyteller. I think it came from growing up in a preacher’s family where, when events happened, we would comment, “There’s a sermon illustration in there somewhere.” Events unfold in stories to my mind. As a child I was often accused of lying, for my quirky way of seeing the world didn’t appeal to people who saw it in black and white details. In fact, even my husband used to try to correct my stories until one day God showed him that even he didn’t see all the specifics of an event. Only God knew the whole story and my way of seeing was as valid as David’s facts-only base of viewing life.

It is with this storytelling basis that I venture to share with you some of the truths God has taught me over the years.

One of the most basic lessons I’ve learned is that God is good all the time. This is a lesson I’ve learned, not necessarily from the highs of my life, but usually from the hard things I’ve faced.

As a writer, the easiest way I pray is by writing letters to God. I have stacks of notebook that go back over forty years. As I have read through those notebook I’ve seen many prayers that God did not answer. I pleaded with God many times to remedy a problem in my life or to give me something I longed to receive and it appeared that He ignored my requests. But as I’ve gone over these prayers years later I discovered something. God did not ignore me, He simply knew me better than I knew myself. There are verses in Romans 8:25-27 that say, “But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” I have learned that when I pray, the Holy Spirit within me says, “Father, she doesn’t understand what she is asking. This is really the true desire of her heart,” and He rewords the prayer according to the will of God and according to my deepest longings. That is the prayer God answers. Let me give you an example.

In the early eighties we wanted to buy a house near Lake Zurich, Illinois where we had been living for over six years. During that time we lived in four different houses and we were tired of living-in with people or renting. Both options left us bound by other people’s rules. I pleaded with God to allow us to buy a home close to the church where David was the associate pastor and near the park district where I was teaching preschool. It didn’t happen. As I read those prayers years later, I thanked God that He hadn’t answered my pleadings. One year later, God moved us out of the Chicago area to Champaign, Illinois where we not only purchased two houses in our twelve years there, but He allowed us to build one and have the fun of picking out the design and all the furnishings. Had we purchased one in Lake Zurich, it would have been a hassle to sell it in the timeframe we had for moving and after one year in the financial climate of the early eighties, it would have been a huge financial loss for us. God’s plan was much better and gave me the creative outlet I was craving.

In the late seventies my great-aunt Suzanne had one child, Patty, and she had four children. Patty’s husband, Don, was in the National Guard reserves and away for two weeks so Patty decided to visit him. On the Sunday before she left, she talked to some friends at church and asked, “What do you do when your children want to play funeral?” On Wednesday night at church Patty mentioned to her friends that she felt the need to go to each of her children that week and make sure they had personally said “Yes” to Jesus. On Saturday, when they were traveling to Minnesota to visit Don, they hit a semi-truck head on and were all killed instantly. How does that show that God is good? As friends related their last conversations with Patty to my aunt Suzanne, she realized that God not only prepared her daughter and grandchildren to meet Him, but they had left behind a clear testimony that Patty and all four of her children loved God and were now they were safely and forever with Him in heaven and that Suzanne would definitely see them again. Inside her grief, Aunt Suzanne had the wonderful hope of being together once more and that brought her peace in the center of her pain. In the middle of it all God sustained Don as well and brought him through without bitterness to a place of peace and joy.

Our family has been riddled by tragedies yet God’s peace and love has flowed over us and His goodness has shone brightly. It has taught us that God’s goodness doesn’t mean everything will be easy, but it does mean that He will love us, hold us, and lead us through the trial to victory on the other side. He pours out His peace, joy and grace in the middle of everything. He works all things together for our good and His glory as we trust in Him.

Today I struggle with a terminal illness. It is not what I wanted or expected in my life. Yet God’s hand of goodness overflows. He gave wonderful physicians, free medication that would have been impossible to afford on our own, and already He has extended my life for almost a year beyond what the doctor’s told me I would have. During this time, He gives me strength for the things I need to do, joy in the wonderful moments with my husband and family, and peace that tells me that He is the one in charge of my life. This has made life more precious than I ever imagined possible. He has proved once again that He is good all the time.

Some people say God doesn’t want us to have pain and anytime it comes it is from the enemy. I don’t believe that for a moment. I was teaching a club for children and the memory verse for the day was John 16:33: “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” I asked the children what promise of God was in the verse, thinking that God had promised peace and to overcome the world. Instead, one of the girls answered, “Tribulation.” I did a double-take, but she was exactly right. God disciplines us, brings trials to teach us that His grace is sufficient, and allows sufferings so we can join in the sufferings of Christ.

David has had the privilege of teaching leaders of the underground church in places around the world. In one group David led, several had just a month before been imprisoned for their faith. One man was taken by the guard and told he was to be beaten to death. As the beating was happening, the man began to laugh. It made the guard hit him harder. The harder he was hit, the more the man laughed. Disgusted that the beating was just bringing the man joy, the guard threw him back in his cell. When his friends asked him what happened, he said as he was being beaten, he remembered the verse from Matthew 11:28-29: “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” The man said he realized he was bearing the yoke of Jesus and sharing in His sufferings, and that filled him with joy. That joy saved his life. A week later they were all released from prison by a miracle and a month later were in the class with David.

David told the men he had not expected them to be such fun-loving, joyful people after all they went through. They told David they pray for persecution to come to the American Church, for they believe it is only in persecution and great trial that we come to understand the great love of God.

But God is good in joyful times as well as trials. He gave me the very best husband in the world even though, in the beginning, I wondered about His gift. As He has grown us up and together, I’ve come to marvel at the wonderful gift He gave us in our marriage. His ability to put just the right people in our path, to give us gifts just as we need them most, and to bring opportunities we never thought possible into our lives have often left us gasping for breath.

One incident was when a woman called us from Austria and asked if she could stay with us while her daughter checked out the University of Illinois. They came and then wanted to go to the University of Indiana. On Sunday after church we were just heading out the door when the phone rang. It was a friend from the Fellowship of Christian Athletes Conference Center asking if we could pick up someone at the Champaign bus depot and bring him to Decatur, Illinois where our friend could pick him up. We said we could, especially as we were just heading out the door to drive to Decatur for lunch. In our tiny Toyota, Corkie, her daughter Heather and I squeezed in the back seat while David and the young man sat in front doing small talk to get acquainted. The young man told us he had been living in Russia working for a man who was part of a new political party. He wanted to know what clubs American high schools had, so, being a Christian, the young man mentioned Youth for Christ, Young Life, and Fellowship of Christian Athletes. His boss stopped him and told him to go to America and find out how to get Fellowship of Christian Athletes in all the schools of Russia. (This was just as the Wall was about to come down.) He had been disappointed because FCA is only a stateside organization. Corkie, our new friend in the back seat chimed in. She and her husband were in charge of Campus Crusade for Christ in Europe, especially in training people behind the Iron Curtain in case the Wall ever fell. She told the young man they had trained leaders for Athletes In Action all through Russia, but no contacts to get it into the schools. In our car the two traded information and as you know from history, the Wall fell, and Campus Crusade for Christ moved into the schools of Russia with the Jesus movie and thousands came to Christ. We sat in wonder at the goodness of God to let us have a tiny part in that great miracle. We planned nothing. God did it all.

God is good all the time. In pain, in trial, in joy and in the unexpected. God is at work for our good and His glory. And He makes it all good.

 

Have you ever noticed how many ANDS God has put into life?

There are so many ANDS we hardly take notice. Yet seeing them again, we take heart and find God gifts to be more than enough to go through anything “with grace.

There is both…
darkness AND light,
winter AND spring,
weariness AND rest,
parents AND children,
planting AND reaping,
frowns AND smiles,
dropping leaves AND blooming flowers,
valleys AND mountains,
desserts AND oceans,
farms AND towns,

going AND coming,
sin AND mercy,
duty AND reward,
calling AND direction,
need AND sufficiency,
ebb AND flow,
Jesus AND me.

Recently I had the opportunity to share a moment with some children. I asked a 7 year-old girl what is one plus one. She said, “Two!” After congratulating her, I then asked a 10 year-old boy what is one AND one. He said, “Eleven.” I was surprised at his answer, figuring that he would say “two.” But he answered correctly, and notice the exciting difference the little word “and” gives us. A “plus” leads to simple addition, but an “and” can provide many more possibilities.

God’s grace comes pouring into our lives in the multiplication His “ands” create. In other words, His grace is a source of limitless possible outcomes to every situation because as Jesus said, “WITH God all things are possible!”

God’s word calls us to give cheerfully something good to every day, AND assures us that God’s super-abundant grace makes that possible! The Apostle Paul wrote, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”  2 Corinthians 9:7-8 (ESV)

We notice that we suffer weakness from “thorns,” but do we also notice that God comes with us, taking our weakness and in it displaying His power to bring good out of bad and life out of death? The greatest AND of all is “Jesus and me.” “Concerning this [thorn in the flesh] I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”   2 Corinthians 12:8b-9 (NASB)

God’s ANDS are multiplications that lead us to see the huge difference He alone can make in our lives.

Today there may be trouble, hardship, persecution, serious lack of resources, and mortal danger, but for the Christian those things are NEVER singular and the end of the matter. There is always an “AND” of grace enabling us to overcome the fear with faith, the hopelessness with anticipation, and the evil with love. “But [And] in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us!” Romans 8:35-37 (NASB)
God’s grace multiplies the possibilities found in forgiveness, prayers for healing and loving redemption, and the simple act of getting up in the morning with smiles on our faces.

Thanks be to God!

“They were even more astonished and said to Him, ‘Then who can be saved?’ Looking at them, Jesus said, ‘With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.’” Mark 10:26-27 (NASB)

“And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And He was saying, ‘Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.’” Mark 14:35-36 (NASB)

“And Jesus said to him, ‘“If You can?” All things are possible to him who believes.’ Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, ‘I do believe; help my unbelief.’” Mark 9:23-24 (NASB)

For added inspiration in your gratitude for the ANDS of life, check out this song by Dennis Jernigan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc4BaIlVC-k.

 

We can live one of two ways. One way is the way of idolatry in which we create gods we try to carry ourselves, and the other way is surrender to  being carried by the Living God Himself.

The idolatry described Isaiah 46:1 is almost comical. “Bel and Nebo wobble and duck, as their images sway on the backs of oxen and donkeys—such a heavy burden for the weary animals—as they are carried about.” (Isaiah 46:1, The Voice). This is an apt description of how we humans do our best to carry those things we worship in place of God Himself. It’s as though we’re a herd of oxen and donkeys barely able to carry our heavy burdens, as we head down the road to destruction. It really is not something about which to smile.

W. Pat Cunningham describes idolatry at http://www.sermoncentral.com as turning to some other reality, one without a true face. He writes, “God’s face is a face of love, but it is a love that shows itself according to a timetable that God Himself sets. We want everything good, and we want it NOW. When God’s self-revelation is tardy by our watches, or when God demands something hard of us, we are tempted to turn to some other reality, one without a true face, instead. That is the definition of idolatry. It might not be a physical statue, but rather an object of pleasure — art, music, sex, or even our own reputation.”

Isn’t it ludicrous to try to carry all this stuff? It is as though we try to carry God Himself, and finding that is impossible, we create a god we think we can carry.  The inevitable result, however, is to wobble our way down the road.  We end up really tired, totally lost, and utterly miserable.

The futility of carrying those burdens is not what God wants for us. In Isaiah 46:3-5, God paints a completely different picture than the one we try to paint for ourselves — one meant to bring us to totally rest in Him and find the only life worth living. Instead of YOU and ME carrying our gods, He reminds us that HE will carry us – when we rest in Him by faith.

“Listen to Me, O house of Jacob, And all the remnant of the house of Israel, You who have been borne by Me from birth And have been carried from the womb; Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you; And I will bear you and I will deliver you. To whom would you liken Me And make Me equal and compare Me, That we would be alike?” (NASB)

I like the part about being carried even in the years of gray hair! In other words, there is never a time when God is not offering to be our all in all — to take up every burden we carry on Himself, to teach us about resting in Him, and to give us finally His own heart of peace. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NASB)

You cannot carry God, and it is senseless to try to carry the gods of this world.  If you try, you will end up wobbling down the road under the weight of it all.

Why not choose His way, and let Him carry you?

“He found him in a desert land, And in the howling waste of a wilderness; He encircled him, He cared for him, He guarded him as the pupil of His eye. Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, That hovers over its young, He spread His wings and caught them, He carried them on His pinions. The Lord alone guided him, And there was no foreign god with him.” Deuteronomy 32:10-12 (NASB)

“There is none like the God of Jeshurun, Who rides the heavens to your help, And through the skies in His majesty. The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms; And He drove out the enemy from before you, And said, ‘Destroy!’ So Israel dwells in security, The fountain of Jacob secluded, In a land of grain and new wine; His heavens also drop down dew.” Deuteronomy 33:26-28 (NASB)

(Written by David Ewert)
The Easter season is awash with beautiful sentiment and sweet pictures, as a recent search for Hallmark Cards to send to my sisters revealed. However, that is not the real foundation of my faith this morning.

It is notable that most everything in the testimony to Christ’s death and resurrection is so factual. Where are the symbols of springtime and new life we’re so fond of today? Where is the poetic sweetness? Where are the cute bunnies and fields of daffodils?

The most poetic passages I can find of the Passion Week are Psalm 22, Isaiah 53 and Romans 8:31-39. From those passages, the gigantic implications of that week for our lives shine forth in poetry that absolutely soars to the heights and depths of soulful expression. But even there, the bunnies and daffodils are missing, and I, for one, am not sorry.

I am so glad the biblical accounts are factual. The record of Christ’s death and resurrection rings true because it points to  real-time events and not emotional interpretations of those events. It is because of this that my hope rises this morning and I can be sure my resurrection from death is also actually true.

Everything I believe rests on a solid foundation of truth. Therefore, I am free. I can freely embrace today’s very real journey in which we taste real pain and loss, and I can enjoy fun-filled carefree moments that include the chocolates and the laughter of children. Because the facts of the Lord Jesus are in evidence forever, I am even free to wax poetic and imagine new ways to celebrate the beauty and life-creating power in those facts. Because I see the evidences of His resurrection so clearly, I can now recognize and enjoy fully the many, many ways in which God reminds me of those realities.

So, bring on the yellow daffodils, baskets of eggs bedded in fake green grass, and all the rest, but remember this first and be truly glad: Christ is risen! He is risen indeed!!

“Now, my brothers, I want to speak about the Gospel which I have previously preached to you, which you accepted, in which you are at present standing, and by which, if you remain faithful to the message I gave you, your salvation is being worked out—unless, of course, your faith had no meaning behind it at all. For I passed on to you Corinthians first of all the message I had myself received—that Christ died for our sins, as the scriptures said he would; that he was buried and rose again on the third day, again as the scriptures foretold.”
1 Corinthians 15:1-4 (PHILLIPS)

You’re younger, full of energy, and still in possession of a healthy body and mind. How then do you relate with understanding to those you love who are chronically or terminally ill? To add to the difficulty, they may be much older. How then can you ever hope to understand what they’re going through?

The all-encompassing nature of chronic illness and the way it disrupts life and plans for your loved one may be very difficult to understand if you’re not experiencing it. But lacking understanding doesn’t mean you don’t have an opportunity to respond with grace to their situation. You do have choices that can help them immensely and at the same time, help you begin to understand what they are facing. Your choices will include mercy, patience, and kindness: mercy, because you’ll need to forgive their fumbling with new, overwhelming limitations; patience, because you’ll suffer long with their slowness; and kindness, because their wounding may draw away your time and energy.

We are often asked, “How’s it going?” The question is from well-meaning friends and neighbors who know we live day in and day out with Julia suffering from a progressive lung disease called IPF (Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis). The disease is typically terminal in 2-5 years. Julia has lived for almost two years since being diagnosed with the disease and has stabilized at a level that allows Julia to have about 48% of her lungs in use.

What if deep breathing is no longer possible? The benefits of deep, belly breathing are many. Your stress reduces as toxins are flushed out of your body. Your mental focus, posture and quality of sleep improve. You reduce your risk of cancer, raise your rate of metabolism and lower your cholesterol. But what if deep breathing is no longer possible?

In an effort to help understanding, I challenge you with healthy lungs to breathe shallow with the top part of your lungs for 5 minutes, at a faster rate than you normally breathe. I doubt you can breathe like that for more than a minute or two. In shallow breathing the body switches into a flight or fight mode and begins to tire quickly. The brain cries out for more oxygen and focuses on the need to find air. Now, add to that experiment leaning over to tie your shoes, add the dust and humidity in the air, add the normal aging process, add lack of sleep, add etc. I doubt anyone who isn’t forced to live with limited breath can truly understand from experience what it’s really like.

We know it may be impossible for you to understand what it’s like to live with a chronic illness, but that’s not what we hope from you. Mercy, patience and kindness are what we crave most in our hardest moments.

There are days when the radical losses in energy and freedom of movement are almost more than we can bear. There are days when the new normal of dizziness, mounting aches and pains, lack of sleep, lack of memory and mental concentration, and isolation from the world rushing by bring fear: fear that we’re losing who we are; fear that we’re no longer loveable; fear that we’re no longer useful; fear that we’ll ever figure out how to live with this thing that’s got us in a headlock, squeezing energy and time out of all we deem wonderful and good. And on those days, it’s not lack of understanding in our loved ones that we crave so much as grace.

When those suffering the trying moment of a chronic illness are met with unforgiveness, impatience and aloofness they can come to believe that no amount of words of explanation or apology can ever be enough. Their need to justify themselves may become all-consuming, and equally the most desperate endeavor they consider in seeking relief from their fear of losing you too.

Please don’t misunderstand my intentions here. I’m not complaining, but rejoicing in what we’ve been given on the hardest days.

You see, most days we find much to rejoice in because God’s grace is so evident. Since the diagnosis of IPF, He’s given Julia and me more days together than we first imagined possible. He’s given us the Scriptures that continually renew us in faith and hope. He’s taught us so much about trusting Him and finding Him to be deeper and better and greater than we ever imagined He could be. But mostly, there’s you, our beloved children and friends. Your mercy, patience and kindness mean more than you can possibly imagine. Thank you for bringing God’s grace to us as we set our face forward and rise up to face another day.

“Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Colossians 3:12-13 (NLT)

 

I leaned back into the wrought iron bench and took a deep breath. I could feel the tenseness leave and relaxation flow into me. The huge magnolia tree made a thick canopy over my head, sheltering me from the hot, noonday sun. Closing my eyes, I listened to the birds chirping songs unfamiliar to me as they moved from branch to branch. I could now rest easy and enjoy the rest of my day.

My dentist in Oregon had given me a list of what needed to be done to my teeth and the final estimate was a whopping three-thousand five hundred dollars. Here, sitting outside my friend’s favorite dentist in Mexico, I’d just had the work done and paid a mere sixty dollars. The dentist had assured me that the molar that holds my partial plate in place was not cracked. It only had a small cavity which did not even require Novocain to fix and a crown to strengthen the tooth was not necessary. My friends, who summer in Dillard, have been going to him for years and think he’s the best dentist ever. Once in the chair, I sensed his integrity and believed his assessment of my teeth. My mouth and my pocketbook were thankful.

I opened my eyes as a shower of leaves hit me. As the birds moved, yellow leaves that had been caught in the thick tangle of branches broke free and twirled downward, some landing on my head. It was a quiet, restful place, but at the end of the ally, I could see the jumble of open market stands and venders as they approached tourists wandering through the streets.

“Lady, beautiful Lady, you need a purse. See. Leather. Deer hide. Almost free.” It was hard to resist their tactics. After all, how many times do I get called beautiful in American stores? Jewelry, yard art, blankets and hats filled the kiosks and flowed onto the sidewalk, leaving only a single person pathway.

The buildings lining the streets were dentist offices, eye clinics and pharmacies—all painted purple. We had followed a crowd of people over the border, most of whom had come in loaded busses to see the dentist or get eye glasses. It was a gorgeous day and the streets were packed with people. “Here, come here and see the dentist.” “Take my card and give it to the pharmacist.” “You like this? Only twenty dollars.”

It was easy to resist the sellers, for when my husband returns from his mission trip we intend to vacation on our way home. I’d rather spend money enjoying time with him than filling my home with more stuff when I am trying desperately to simplify my life. What was hard was turning away from the old women sitting on the side of the street holding baskets, begging for money. Their faces were etched with lines drawn by a hard life and much sadness. I would have loved to have taken one of them to the open air restaurant where we ate and heard her story, but the language barrier was great and it was impossible to know how to make such a request acceptable.

We ate lunch in a huge courtyard where an old, gnarled tree spread its branches over the whole area. The courtyard was surrounded by brick archways decorated with bright turquoise, red and orange painted designs. From that bright and cheery place I could see the stands and stores and crowds of shoppers all around me. It reminded me once again that it is not material things that make me happy.

I could fill my home and my yard with the beautiful things offered in the stalls, but then I would be like the man in a painting hanging in the art gallery at the University of Illinois. When I took my preschool class for an outing to the gallery, a docent pointed to a painting of a smiling man dressed in a silk shirt with huge ruffles, wearing gold chains around his neck and huge rings with gems on his fingers and asked “Is the man happy or sad?” Four-year-old Danny replied, “He is sad. He has so much stuff that there is no room for him.”

I always want there to be room for me and those I love.

(written in February of 2014)

 

Having moved all the way across the country from Oregon to New York this past February, we’ve been plunged into culture-learning. One of the common ways to greet someone here is the phrase, “Hi! How are ya?” The appropriate response I’ve learned is not “I’ve been up since 4 AM, my back hurts, and there’s a mountain of work in front of me.” No, you’re expected to say “Fine. And you?” Then, move on with your life, letting them move on with their life.

In some ways, this suits me just fine since quite often I’m not willing to divulge my innermost or take time to hear the innermost of another. Let’s just get on with it and get the job done. There’s so much to do! On the other hand, it troubles me somewhere down deep because I’d love to be able to share my burdens and perhaps, receiving some understanding and sympathy in response, move on with life knowing I’m not alone in this.

But there’s the honesty thing, the just keep smiling thing, and the put up a good front thing. Is it dishonest to not answer directly a discerning friend’s inquiry, “Are you okay? Are you not feeling well? You don’t seem yourself.” Is it really wrong or selfish to say, “Oh, I’m just a bit tired” – when unsure about what to say or whether the friend really means to take time to hear the nitty gritty? Maybe the difficulties that come with expressing our hearts so that we’re clearly understood and not put aside as a hopeless nut or bleeding heart case are just too great, most of the time.

Truth be told, it’s not easy to share the innermost struggles and dreams of the heart. I’ve noticed for instance that when I’ve gone through a major life change or face major decisions, that I come close to hating the sensitive friend’s question, “How are you?” How do I answer when typically the answer is caught up in a mix of dreams, weariness, hurt, dissatisfaction, narrowing of options, life’s necessities, covenant responsibilities, thirst for adventure and meaning, and maybe guilt over some endless list of unmet expectations?

The kind of sharing I long for comes in what I call a covenant relationship. It’s the kind of thing I naturally have with the one whose love I’m convinced of and whom I love unconditionally in return.

I can share my life openly with someone that I’m partnered with in making a shared life, or conquering some mountain before us both. And especially, I can share my life with the one who delights in me as a person and who gives energy and time to be with me after discovering that I’m not yet whole. Is that one you? Will you covenant with me to live out our lives together serving the Lord and growing in grace together? Then, I hope you’ve got time for a good cup of coffee because this is going to take a while…

“Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.”
(1 Samuel 18:3; cf. 1 Samuel 19 ESV)

“But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.”(Romans 5:8 MSG)

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17 ESV)